Well, it’s been over a year since my last update. I’m having a rough time after a fairly good year so I am turning to this as a little support and to try to get my head on straight. I’m in the middle of a bad MS flare, currently hooked up to my fifth IV drip of steroids, exploring scary medication options, trying to get an MRI of my brain, neck and spine, trying to rest, trying to pretend I feel fine for my son. Trying to keep the house going, picking up a little, dishes, laundry. I’m supposed to like go to bed for two weeks and recover from these steroids but there is no way I can do that. I’m supposed to recover from my flare for the next weeks-months-year? by relaxing, and eating right and avoiding stress and all that jazz…but how can i? I swear this disease is only for the independently wealthy who can be on vacation forever and have loads and loads of money for medical expenses, acupuncturists, physical therapists, psychologists, general joy stuff, personal assistants, house cleaners, cooks and nannies.
I’m very fortunate that I have my mom and my boyfriend. Im super fortunate that I have my adorable, smart, funny son who keeps me going. Without him I would be in a major depression hosting my own lonely pity party. But thanks to him I only get to do that for a few minutes at a time. Then I have to laugh and play and get back to work.
We had to cancel my son’s big 3rd birthday bash. Its in a week and there is no way I can pull it off so it will be a little thing for family only, meaning my two elderly parents and my boyfriend. I mean who cares-my son doesnt. Although he likes kids, I think a big birthday would be a little stressful on him. I mean all he wants is lots of presents and cake and to not have to share with others.
So yesterday I didn’t find time to take pics or post but I’m going to brag that I did 3 loads of laundry-washed dried and put away goddamnit! I also did a load of dishes, wiped down the bathroom before the nurse came, cleaned off the dining room table, made fairly healthy food and did a small amount of gentle exercise. All with an IV line in my arm and numb feet. It helped that my mom had my son for about 5 hours although he helped me with all of the laundry folding :) I’m here. I’m able to walk. I’m alive and I am grateful. I’m going to get better. I have to.